Sense & Sensibility

Today is Sunday. The traditional day of rest. A day for recuperation, preparation, and readjustment. For me, it is also my day off from the shows and from teaching. Today my morning was happily filled with exploring the Moroccan souks with an old friend of many years who has come to visit me, followed by an afternoon of drawing with a new Moroccan friend of mine. A mixture of new and old. In reflection, I can honestly say that I spent the whole day being myself. 

To be oneself. To be all of oneself. To be true to yourself. The most important ethic that I hope to instil in the heart of Liberty's. I feel it is a rarely discussed value - to truly be all of yourself. I am becoming increasingly aware of the importance of it, and its imperative value in the success and happiness of the individual. 

When I was a child, my Father worked in a home for adults with disabilities. Within the home, there was a sensory room. A room filled with colourful lights, textiles, interactive equipment, and even a bubble machine! The purpose of the room was not just for entertainment. It was for communication. It was a room full of ways that my less able friends at the home could communicate with me, and demonstrate their interests to me, where words failed. Some of my friends at the home could not speak. Some could not see. Some could not move very much. But each and every person in that home had something that was 'their thing'.

Matthew loved the music - Abba, in particular, at full blast! Patricia loved the soft materials, she loved to twist them in her hands. Alex loved to make as much noise as possible, with as many instruments as she could get a hold of! In this room, my friends at my Father's place of work were very, very able. It didn't matter that they couldn't walk, or that some could not talk to me. In that room, they were all of themselves, being the best of themselves, with the materials and personal encouragement that they needed to be able to do so. 

At the time, I just thought of these experiences as fun times that I had with my special friends. As an adult, I now understand the impression these experiences has made upon me. Because I believe in ability. I believe that every single person should have the opportunity and the support to help themselves to become all of who they want to and can be. Regardless of whether that is to be a professional ballerina, a competition winning street dancer, published writer, commissioned artist....or maybe just to be able to sit amongst a roomful of coloured lights, and enjoy something for what it is. 

For one period of time I lived in an environment where my dreams were not supported - I lived and existed in a situation where my ambitions were mocked. Released, and with great support, I am now living every inch of the life I did not think was possible. Yes, some days defeat me. But on the whole I am living a very full, and very 'Helen' life. A life not playing a part, but actually being myself. 

From this basis I will continue to build my way forwards, right up to the front door of Liberty's. The result of all that I have seen, and all that I am yet to see. The future culmination of all of my ideas, contributed to by every special person in my life.


HV.
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The Threads That Connect Us

As teachers we hold great responsibility. We have the power to affect another person, and their understanding of a part of their world. This is what brings education alive for me. Many of us can think of an excellent teacher who had a significant effect on them. Equally, I'm sure we can all recollect a teacher that was frustrating, lacking in knowledge, or even upsetting to us in their inability to communicate effectively with us. I have had a decent amount of both in my life. Some lessons I will never forget, for various reasons.

I would count myself as very fortunate for having an unusual educational background. I attended a Montessori school for my primary learning, followed by a Quaker senior school. For anyone that knows anything about either, you may know the emphasis both have on valuing your peers, and accepting those around you for what they are. This has stayed with me, proving to be the basis of my own personal beliefs and values. 

As a child of Montessori schooling, I was taught that learning is a process of discovery, rather than recital. We had no desks. We rolled out mats in the classroom, wherever the opportunity of learning was being presented. Sometimes this involved gathering around  the library area to learn from the books we had been provided with. Sometimes this involved walking outside and being encouraged to find examples of biological processes within the environment that surrounded us. 

We were encouraged to take care of the farm animals that surrounded the school, to aide each other in our learning. We were taught to help up the friend who fell, and to apply the plaster we were provided with. We supported one another. Classes were not divided into school year groups, but into levels of ability. I sometimes learnt alongside my brother, who was three years my senior. I was not penalised for struggling with Maths, but instead encouraged to be as much of an artist and a writer as I possibly could be, with support for my lack of mathematical ability at the time.  

The more I think about my early education, the more I begin to see the significance of it in my life as it stands today. One of the dancers here on my current contract in Marrakech said to me a few months ago that she had not been friends with an artist before. I was taken aback, and massively encouraged at the same time. I realised at that moment how she regarded me. I sometimes worry that the artist inside of myself is lost in my profession, as I have described before in previous blogs. I fret that by being employed to dance someone else's choreography night after night, I am not regarded as a dancer, even by my own validation. But I am starting to realise that perhaps my educational path has taught me to be multi-faceted. Back then, as a child, I was not told I was only a writer. I was told I was good at many things. I was interested in many things. And that was OK. I did not need a job title, or a specific all inclusive focus. It was OK that sometimes I liked to learn about maps, and that other days I liked to draw. 

As a child, I could never have known how this would shape me as a human being. I feel that I am starting to really recognise and establish the ethos I would like to carry through to Liberty's. And again, it comes back to themes of freedom. 

Thanks to my throughly broke but stubbornly determined parents (in combination with a multitude of scholarships and bursary grants) I was given the vital opportunity to be educated at these two very unusual but very positively influential schools. I hope to do the very same, for many more learners. Whether they can count, or not. Whether they excel at dance, or not. Whether they need a place to be free, or need a place to find stability. This is what I dream of creating. 

Until then I will keep finding corners of life to roll out a mat, and learn from. Until I can provide the spaces for the future visitors of Liberty's.

HV. 
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Decision, Decisions.....

Making a choice.  Choosing. Making a decision. Direction. Opting out, opting in. Knowing what's best. Recognising what isn't right. 

To a dancer, all of the above words can strike fear straight into the heart! The dancing profession can be a fickle one. It can often be about being 'in the right place at the right time' - to utilise an overused phrase. For how are we to know which is the right audition to attend, when two are scheduled at the same time? How are we to know whether staying for an extra year of training is right, or whether it's best to go out into the working world? How do we make such important decisions, when they seem so influential on our ultimate futures? 

Recently, a few students of mine have approached me in Morocco, asking me what I would recommend for their path in the next few years, in terms of choosing training schools or colleges. In addition, students that I used to teach in England have done the very same, via Facebook and similar. Intrinsically, all of them collectively are asking me the same thing. But there is a difference between my British students and their Moroccan counterparts - opportunity, and location. 

In my opinion, the British  education and training system is fantastic. By coming away from it for this period of time, I have come to realise this. When I was 16, I didn't know what I wanted to do. But I always knew I could do anything I wanted, within my abilities. It was never a case of whether there would be a college course, or even funding, that would suit and provide for my needs - it was just a case of whether I could achieve it for myself. It is only that I am now living here in a Morocco that I truly realise the treasure that there is back in my own country. Yes, Morocco is largely a developed country - and a successful one - but for a dancer, there is relatively little opportunity to pursue the career they may desire. 

Like everyone, I have had to make some pretty weighty decisions, particularly in regards to my dancing. Some decisions were made for me, at the time, and some decisions I now look back and realise I could have been stronger. But I regret nothing. How can I, when I know I am in the right place now? 

As in the film 'Sliding Doors' we never know what effect a small choice can make. But amongst all the web links, school recommendations, and copied and pasted dancer information pages, I have one crucial piece of advice that I will happily give to both my questioning students now, and those of my future, at Liberty's;

Listen to yourself. Listen to what you want. Don't listen to fears, keep pushing forward for what you really know is the right thing, even if it is the most terrifying option. I spent years in a personal situation that prevented me from being all of who I am, and one of the main reasons I spent so long in that place, was because I kept ignoring myself, and I was too afraid to leave. In the end, the decision was made for me, and I was inadvertently forced into a new life, where I had to pick up the pieces and make a new life for myself. In doing so, I allowed myself to follow my dream, having realised I then had nothing left to lose. And I could not be any more grateful now, that I did.

Dancing is a risk. But any situation, as I've discovered is fixable. You are never trapped. You can leave jobs. You can change schools. You can email dancers, and make new connections. You can make online profiles. You can study. You can turn around and change your mind. This is the nature of dance, and of the lives we lead. The main thing is, do the thing that will keep you dancing the most. Push yourself to do the hardest thing, then if you fall just short of it it will still be better than staying safe. 

I was once advised by a great friend that essentially, it is all as simple as just working hard to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be - and to keep dancing! It is this ethos that carries me, drives me, and keeps me from the edge. 

Because no matter what, there is always freedom. And one day, there will be Liberty's.

HV.

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Judging a book by it's cover

The dance industry is a fickle environment. This is a fact. The dancer whom one day is the favourite for a job, could find themselves rejected and forgotten by the following week. The dancer who holds the technique most dancers would die for, can find themselves dismissed rapidly from an audition purely based on what she chose to wear that day. This is the way of it, and the way it will inevitably remain. 

This week has been a huge learning curve for me as a person, and as a professional of this industry. In the last few days, I have been spending some time helping the company I currently work to choose girls for casting for the next upcoming show contract. This involves hunting through hundreds of online applications from casting websites, and weighing up suitability based on the first few seconds of looking at their profile. In seconds, a girl can be put in the 'no pile' before a show reel is even seen! She might not have the right look, her first loaded photo might come out grainy, her hair colour may not suit, or similar issues. The experience has definately encouraged me to analyse my own professional profile and portfolio more carefully! 

On the flipside, I had a very humbling experience in correlation with this concept of 'judging a book by its cover' when teaching this week....

On Monday I taught my regular class of 'Baby Ballet' followed immediately by 'Body Flow' for older teenagers. As my ballet class was coming to an end, one of the Mums who had been watching approached me to ask whether she could join in with Body Flow. As the class is aimed at teenagers with some technique already established, I was somewhat hesitant. I am ashamed to say, that I assumed from appearance that she would struggle in the class. However, it is an open class and so I invited her to join us, reassuring her that I would help her if she got stuck in any of the exercises or choreography. 

After the warm up section of the class, I asked the group to go to the corner, so that we could work on the travelling turns we had already been working on in previous weeks. They all paired up, as usual, leaving my new member alone. I advised her to go last, and that if she found the turns too difficult, that I could step in and help her. She politely smiled, and joined the queue of giggling teenage girls. 

As it came to her turn, I stepped forward, ready to help her. The whole class, who had already completed the turns duo by duo, also stood by watching. And to everyone's surprise, this new member of the group proceeded to perform the most elegant, most controlled, and most technically correct turns I have seen since I began teaching here in Marrakech! 

This new dancer continued to demonstrate her beautiful technique and poise in everything from that point forward. Not only that, but this woman was in full Muslim covered dress. Instead of the usual leotard and tights combination, this dancer not only danced to her full and able ability, but did it all completely covered, including her hair and half of her face. I went home in awe, and entirely humbled by the entire experience. In its truest sense, a lesson in not judging a book by its cover. Or any dancer that you do not know. 

Perhaps those casting files are worth a second look now....

HV.
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When Does Dance Stop Being Dancing?

It's Sunday morning. It's early. I'm currently sitting on the roof of one of the Riads where I'm staying whilst my family are visiting. It's quiet at the moment aside from the prayer calls from the mosques, as we're in the Medina area. Perfect writing time!

Last night I performed at the show venue, Lotus Club, as usual. The only difference being that we spent the daytime yesterday doing a photo shoot of the show, which implicated performing each set several times for action shots, and so by the time of doing the real show, it felt rather strange! It really highlighted to me the importance of an audience presence, as it was an entirely different feeling performing to an almost empty room, compared with a booked out venue. The atmosphere of a full audience can be electric, and can also prove to be the make or break of any particular show. 

The idea of this concept has provoked quite a lot of thought for me, regarding how dance performance, particularly my own, can alter dependant on the setting. I have often felt that I dance for more to the best of my abilities when I am alone in a studio. Although I absolutely love to perform on a live stage, or in front of a camera (hence my current career path) I feel more true to myself when I am alone with music. 

A musician friend from our show said to me recently that he feels sometimes as if he is paid to be a performer, but that when he is alone, he is truly is himself as a musician and an artist. I feel I agree with him on some level. That is not to say that I am not being truthful on the stage, or that I am not being creative. I apply a huge amount of myself to my work, and make every effort when on a stage to connect my emotional and intellectual self to the shapes and moves I have been choreographed to perform. However, I never lose that sense of self consciousness, of my awareness of staging, of time limitations, of costume glitches - all the considerations that come with stepping on to a stage. 

Ultimately, I am paid to be there, to entertain a paying crowd for a company. But does this make the experience any less of an artistic one? At what point does private creativity and inspiration become lost in the hustle and bustle of a professional show? Would it be deemed as more artistic if it were an unpaid show piece, or if the audience hadn't paid to see it? 

I chose dance as my specific art form, after many years of experimentation. I played with photography, I toyed with ceramics, I sketched, I drew, I painted, I made a mess with pastels.......until I found dance. After intensive training, I am now a paid, employed dancer in a professional show in Marrakech. I have been trained in many techniques, and have the discipline of a dancer as a result. But am I still an artist?

I am happiest in life when I am learning, and when I am creating. The two often marry up in my life. For the benefit of my overall wellbeing, I am acutely aware that I must endeavour to balance and include these elements as much as possible for the benefit of my artistic development, in preparation for the creative challenges that Liberty's will present to me. 

Always dancing. 

H.
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Teaching + Things

My first room. 

The first room I thought of when I originally came up with the first ideas of my centre, and what it could be. 

The dance studio. 

Hopefully, in an ideal world and with the right financial situation, I would like to think there would be several dance studio spaces within Liberty's. Numerous spaces for teaching, practice, and rehearsals to take place. But for now, these rooms still only exist in other people's centres. 

I have been lucky enough to have taught in a wide variety of settings and surroundings. Currently, I am teaching at 'Art Academy', in Marrakech, which I love! The brainchild of Mounia Dadi, a wonderful and well established dancer and artist in Marrakech, Art Academy is a space for dance classes as well as arts and music. It is one of a kind within the city, and has many qualities that I so hope Liberty's will be proud to hold in the future. Altogether, a very positive and creative space to be in. 


http://www.artacademy.ma

This week, I taught three classes at Art Academy. One of which was my regular class for teenagers - 'Body Flow' which is balletic/lyrical technique & choreo. I really love teaching this class - they are a lovely class, and very committed. It's proving to be somewhat of a challenge to explain and demonstrate on some occasions, as most don't speak English. However I have adapted to using as much French as I can manage, along with plenty of gesture and physical corrections!

I  am filming new class choreo every two weeks. I will post the YouTube link up on the 'Links' page of this blog - feel free to have a watch! For now, this weeks class is posted below.......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYp4X7urMYk&feature=youtu.be


This week, I also had the pleasure of cover teaching two children's ballet classes. Both groups proved to be wonderfully behaved, despite the fact the first class were only aged between 4 and 5, the second of which being 6-10, and each class lasting an hour! 

Both groups found my sketchy use of French very entertaining! But they were wonderfully open, and amazingly quick at picking up the ballet exercises I taught them. In addition, both classes finished with lots of huge cuddles from them all, and lots of french exclamations of seeing me soon, as they skipped (I.S.T.D style!) out of the studio! No better feeling. 

In fact, it is this exact feeling, when I teach, that I cannot wait to develop and share within Liberty's. As you may be able to tell, I love to teach. But this is not enough for me. I want others to have this feeling of pure enjoyment, through teaching and learning. 

I have had some of the happiest and absolute worst times of my life in studios, learning how to dance. It is a process. A process which is unpredictable and unique to each dancer. This will be the founding philosophy of my dance studios - to treat every dancer as an individual, and for them to be appreciated and encouraged as such. With some beautiful big spaces, barres, and equipment thrown in!

Every dance studio I have taught in so far has taught me something or given me a new idea or perspective on what I would like my future studios to be like. I have taught in some pretty gritty places, as well as some very polished, brightly lit, beautiful places. But aesthetics are only one set of considerations. Considerations that I look forward to at some point in my future. 

For now, I want to keep teaching as I have done this week. To keep collecting up my ideas. I'm more than happy to do so!

Rooms of possibility...

HV. 
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New Front Doors

 
The heart of my centre.


This is a sentence I used today, when trying to describe my thoughts and plans for Liberty's. I realised it has a great deal of meaning. The heart of my future centre will inevitably be the actual heart of my own centre. My own centre of ideas, thoughts, plans, and inspiration. The very central concept of the project will be based upon foundations of my own experiences and interests.


The only problem is - how on Earth do I explain all of this, or begin to document my plans in a format that anyone might understand or relate to, within this blog? Even to make sense to myself?


And so, after many conversations with some very important people in the last few days, I have come up with an infrastructure for my writing.


I will write each entry based around an idea, or a specific room or studio of Liberty's. A front door to each idea. In this way, I will visit each room of my centre, and explore a story, experience, or idea of my own within each chapter. Think of it like an advent calendar! 


Hopefully, this will help me match up a future idea, with what is happening in my own, current life. The life that's happening right now!


Any ideas, feel free to contribute! All my ideas are ever changing - join in...

HV. 
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